Our Last Rites
by Noraque
Summary: Tag to my story 'Even If This Costs Us Our Lives'. Each of the team reflects on their own life in the face of the upcoming suicide mission.
1. Tony

As far back as I can remember, my life has been a study in contrasts.

I grew up in a privileged house- the successful all-American house that everybody wants. Everything I wanted was at my fingertips.

Except love.

I spent a lot of years as a cop, chasing down leads, closing cases and bringing peace to families. It was a successful career that gave me everything.

Except satisfaction.

I've had a lot of success with women, from high school right up until this grand old day here and now. The old DiNozzo charm, a large Cheshire grin and there you have it- a lot of chicks, a lot of phone numbers, a lot of good nights followed by a lot of good mornings (and no, not in a disturbing Pampers sort of way). Every one of these moments gave me everything I could want in a woman.

Except knowing that any of them is the particular woman that I want to wake up to every morning for the rest of my life.

I guess the only place I've truly felt comfortable is on the job at NCIS. Surrounded by people I can relate to. Finding meaning in coming to work every morning and leaving at the end of the day.

That's all changed now.

NCIS as an establishment is gone. Destroyed. Annihilated.

What remains is something stronger- a bond between teammates. A connection that keeps us together, regardless of where we are.

Even with our new 'allies' on this mission, when you get right down to it, _we_ are going to be the ones at the centre. Fighting together. Fighting as one.

I don't know if we'll come back alive. But I can guarantee one thing- as long as I'm around, there will be no quit on this team.

'Cause I'll be right there to push them along. I'll be right there to have their six.

My name is Anthony DiNozzo.

And this team is my family.

I will fight with them.

And I will die with them.

**A/N: I'm aware that last rites are only given in the Christian faith, but it's an appropriate title considering the content. Please review!**


	2. Ziva

Ever since I was a child, my entire life has centred around death.

I was born in a country where the threat of violence, terrorism and assassination is a daily struggle.

My younger sister Tali, the sole truly innocent person in my family, died as a teenager in a suicide bombing. A bombing conducted by a group dedicated to the destruction of my country of birth.

My father is the director of a spy agency which abducts, tortures and assassinates people on his orders- without question.

My half-brother Ari, a man who became a monster because of what surrounded him, was used by my father and then betrayed him. He became part of a terrorist cell plotting an attack in the capital of the world's most powerful country. He killed a former Secret Service agent who worked for a naval investigative agency. And he died in the basement of the leader of that team. He died- by my hand.

As for myself, my job was predetermined before I was born. I was trained, programmed from the day of my birth to be the most effective ruthless assassin in the Mossad. I was never a daughter to my father. I was never even a human being. I was a tool- a weapon to be used at my father's command.

I lived that life for a long time without protest. I endured the worst pain and suffering a human being could endure- until I decided to get out of it. I became an American citizen and joined the same team I had been attached to for years on a permanent basis. I believed that the worst days of my life were forever behind me.

Until now.

Now we face an enemy that poses a greater threat than any other we have faced before. An enemy that has caused the disappearance of countless individuals across the world- regardless of nationality, religion, ethnicity or orientation.

They do not operate under any flag. They do not proclaim loyalty to any country. They do not subscribe to any ideology.

We do not truly know why they do what they do. But right now, that is irrelevant.

Because we are going to stop them.

To do that, it is necessary that we work among people we do not trust in the slightest. Individuals we may very well have been fighting against under different circumstances.

That is the price of success in this mission.

A mission we are unlikely to return from.

I will not fight this battle as an assassin under Israel's Star of David.

I will not fight this battle as an federal agent under the stars and stripes of America.

I will fight this battle as a human being.

For we face an enemy that is inhuman. An enemy that has struck at the very core of NCIS.

Now it is our turn to return the favour.

My name is Ziva David.

And I will fight until my last breath.

We are going to find the ones responsible for these atrocities.

And we are going to kill them.

**A/N: Just FYI- these chapters MAY give some indication as to what's to come in 'Even If This Costs Us Our Lives'. Be sure to keep reading and reviewing that story as well!**

**Please review!**


	3. McGee

All I've ever wanted my whole life was to prove that I could be as good as everyone else.

Anyone who's ever known me will tell you I've never been a very popular or noticeable person. Being very smart at a young age isn't always appreciated or embraced. Most people don't like smart people. Most children despise smart children. As a kid that can mean a lot of things. A lot of lunches stolen, a lot of bruises after school... a lot of girls you have the biggest crushes on laugh in your face and run into the arms of the quarterback.

That's alright, because you get past those things. You graduate from school. You enter the workforce.

If someone were to look at me not ten years ago, they would have laughed had I said wanted to become a federal agent working in the field. My speciality was computers, not athletics. I wasn't an ex-Marine, a former cop, an ex-Secret Service agent or a trained Mossad assassin.

I was a graduate of MIT university.

I was, and probably still am very much so, a geek.

But maybe that's for the best. Maybe that's what makes me unique. People don't expect me to be effective or threatening in the slightest. They dismiss me as unimportant. They turn their attention away.

And that's their biggest mistake.

You don't stay on this team for as long as I have without toughening up. Dealing with the hard demands of the boss, the relentless pranks from your co-workers and the constant need to watch your back force you to. You either improve or you die.

And since I'm not dead yet, I guess I've improved after all.

Question is- have I improved enough?

Have I improved enough to survive the toughest assignment that this team has ever faced? To defy the odds once again and come back from a mission with survival odds of practically zero?

I've faced dangerous jobs before. I thought after our little trip to Somalia, I'd have seen it all.

Funny how wrong you can be, isn't it?

A mere terrorist camp sounds like a walk in the park right about now. At least we knew roughly what we were dealing with.

And our enemies were, well... a lot different.

A lot more _human._

That's why we're doing what we're doing. That's why we're collecting an elite squad of other people from around the world. To fight alongside us.

It's funny; at one point, I used to think our team at NCIS was one screwed up group.

Heh.

Our emotional scars pale in comparison to some of the others...

But together, we're the world's elite- even if we don't acknowledge it. And we're the only ones who can put an end to these attacks.

Attacks which I'm told threaten the very nature of the world itself.

It almost sounds like a plot out of one my _Deep Six_ novels. But I can assure you, this isn't fiction. This is as real as it gets.

Am I scared? I'm terrified.

I don't know who I'm scared for more- myself or my family.

They don't even know what's going on. My parents don't know they could lose their only son. My sister Sarah is unaware that her big brother may never be around to check up on her future boyfriends.

So yeah. I'm scared as hell.

But I won't let fear get in the way of what needs to be done.

Because this team is my second family. Because right now we have a job to do.

And I'll do everything I can to make sure it's done.

My name is Timothy McGee.

And I will never abandon this team.

Because there's one thing that not even the toughest of obstacles can overcome.

And that's loyalty to those willing to walk into hell with you.

**A/N: McGee's chapter was especially difficult. I hope it seems in character enough for him a situation like this.**

**Please review!**


	4. Stephanie

I've been called plenty of things throughout my life.

As I child, I was called a 'sweetheart'.

As a student, I was called an 'anomaly'.

As a sister, I was called 'Steph'.

For ten minutes, I was called a 'coward'... by myself.

Ever since then, I've come up with a new name for the immediate aftermath- 'betrayer'...

And then of course, there are the names that people have given me behind my back; 'ice queen', 'dictator-in-training', 'cold-hearted bitch'- just to name a few.

To paraphrase one our most famous prime ministers, I've been called worse things by much better people.

The one thing that all of the above names have in common is that at one point all of them have been true. Some are still true- to others and myself.

Names don't really matter to me. Respect and success do.

I've earned my right to be a leader on this mission. I've earned my place among the smallest elite multinational group in the world.

Not everyone sees it that way. In fact, many don't.

Again, that doesn't really matter to me.

Because I know what my strengths are. I know how good I am in a variety of areas. I know how useful I am.

Hopefully, I'll have the chance to prove it.

This mission is not about me- it's about what's doing what's necessary. What's right.

It's about elevating Canada to its rightful place in the world. It's about making CSIS as powerful and respected organization as any other intelligence agency. Perhaps even more so.

That depends on a lot of things- even if our survival isn't one of them.

Mostly it depends on our team. Our ability to work as a unit. Our ability to trust one another.

NCIS doesn't fully trust us, at least not with the direct operations. And I suppose it's only fair; we don't fully trust them to do what's truly necessary if it comes right down to it.

Gibbs is the most prominent example of this; the hardest to convince that our motives are right and our means are justified. And I can state that to hand everything over to NCIS right now would be a major mistake given his attitude.

For now, it seems we are at a cold mutual understanding. And as long as he or anyone else doesn't do anything to jeopardize CSIS, we'll be fine.

Because I'm not here to make friends. I'm not here to share personal histories.

I'm here to accomplish a job- regardless of the cost.

My name is Stephanie Brewer.

And I am, and always will be before anything else, a Canadian.

I'll follow Gibbs' orders. I'll follow his command.

But he'll have to fight extra hard to earn _my_ trust.

**A/N: Please review and give me feedback! Does this seem in character with how Stephanie's portrayed so far?**

**Bonus points for whoever knows which famous Prime Minister she is paraphrasing!**


	5. Nigel

I've done a lot of things in my life I'm not proud of.

When I was a kid, I lived in a single parent household. My father didn't see fit to ever know the son that he had helped create. My mother busted her arse to keep mine out of trouble and put food on the table for many years. I was a typical wild Australian guy; swimming, surfing, partying and sleeping with every attractive person with two X chromosomes. Not a care in the world.

Until, of course, something comes along to snap you out of that. Experiencing the worst pain you could possibly imagine from a creature a big as your thumbnail. Enduring the longest forty-eight hours of your life waiting to see if you've contracted an incurable disease that's slaughtered millions in its wake.

You know- every day stuff like that.

Eventually, when you realize you have to find a job or spend the rest of your life as a nobody, you find something that will challenge you to keep your head on straight.

I guess that's why I entered the military. They'll kick your arse so much that you either straighten out or you get swallowed up. Lucky for me, I'm still here.

It was never my intention to enter the intelligence service. I guess it was sort of an irony in my mind; I never considered myself to be very academically smart. Now I'm working for an organization that relies on being smarter than your enemies.

The Australian Secret Intelligence Service- temporarily reassigned to serve with the Canadian Security Intelligence Agency.

I'll be the first to admit I'm not a perfect guy. I've made plenty of bad decisions in my life; plenty of bad decisions in my career. Some of them have cost good men and women their lives. Some of them have cost innocent people their lives.

I can't go back and change that. I can't make that right. Believe me- if I could go back, I would.

But I'm not going to make excuses. I'm not going to say what I could have done. Would have done. Should have done.

Because now we need to focus on the present. Now we need to fight the enemies that threaten the entire world. We need to fight the battles of the present, not the past.

Otherwise there won't be any people around to fight at all in the future.

I won't back down from a fight. If the odds seem insurmountable, it means they probably are. I've seen enough to know when the odds are against you.

This is one of those times.

And maybe, for me, it's for the best. A way of laying old ghosts to rest.

A means of redemption.

Hell, I sound like a bloody old man recounting the horrors of war.

Truth is I already feel like I've been through a million of 'em.

It's strange how life can be that way, isn't it?

Welcome to my chaotic life.

It's not great- it's not even good- but it's the only one I've got.

If I'm lucky- _very_ lucky- I might just see how it plays out in the future.

If any of us still have a future.

My name is Nigel Warner.

I'm a soldier, through and through.

And trust me when I say that in this battle...

...we stand to lose a lot more than just our lives...

**A/N: Nigel's chapter was difficult because I haven't dedicated as much time to him as other characters. Please review and tell me what you liked/didn't like!**

**BTW- the famous prime minister that Stephanie paraphrases in the previous chapter is Pierre Trudeau.**


	6. Giguere

The mortality of an individual is far more complex than anyone could have hoped to imagine.

Case in point- one commits a a questionable act in order to serve a noble purpose. The act in question involves using less than virtuous methods in order to obtain the desired result. Result is achieved and the long-term goal is established. The proper term, _c'est le conséquentialisme_; the consequences for one's actions are the supreme basis for any judgement about the consequences of one's actions.

I am a prime example of a practitioner of this moral theory. One cannot take risks in this world without expecting consequences, but they must always make sure that results are good enough in long term. Failure to do so is reckless, sloppy, unacceptable.

I will not argue with the results of my actions. They had to be done- had to be carried out in order to save innocent lives. I will not apologize for saving those lives.

More difficult to deal with the lives I could not save. Harder still to deal with those I killed out of necessity.

Let ten innocents die to save one thousand.

It seemed much more simple in the planning stages.

And now this situation in which I find myself- how can one describe it?

A blessing in disguise, perhaps?

This mission to save countless of innocent lives- it is... my penance for letting many others die.

Agent Gibbs, he has my allegiance which he may count on. He has my skills at his disposal- my... expertise. He may not agree with everything I have done, but he will not turn away a useful asset when he sees it.

I am very grateful to him for this. One's morals are often outweighed by one's needs. And he will have my loyalty at his side throughout everything.

I have done my part for peace. I have done what I needed to do for the greater good.

But... I have also done my fair share of killing.

Perhaps, in the face of insurmountable odds, that will mean something.

My name is René Giguère.

And I am joining Agent Gibbs.

I will fight to save those who are at the mercy of our enemy.

And I will sacrifice everything to rectify my past mistakes.

**A/N: Sorry for the wait. Please review and give me feedback!**


	7. Maria

Let me clear about one thing right now- I'm not fighting _for_ this world.

Since they first appeared, people have perfected the art of screwing others over when they get the chance. They'll be all nice and sweet to their face, then turn around and take advantage of them the first chance they get. Anyone who said people are basically good and decent are living in a dream world.

The way I figure it, humanity as a whole is really fucked up. People killing people over the stupidest shit- mostly over whose God is better than whose. I think if there is, or ever was a God, He stopped helping out a long time ago. Instead He let all the fuckers and assholes run the planet. The terrorists, the tyrants, the traffickers, the rapists... the _filhos da puta_ who beat you down and strip you naked until you're left with nothing...

That's who's representing the world today. So no- I'm not fighting for anyone in it.

That's Gibbs' job. He's deliberate, relentless; but for my tastes way too patient. He doesn't let anybody do anything without a good reason.

It pisses me off.

He knows what he wants and what he needs. He knows what he's after.

So do _I_.

And when I want something, I take it. I don't wait, I don't ask, I don't hesitate. I _take_. I _do._

Gibbs? He's more likely to _think_ about it. He'll do what needs to be done- eventually. But he won't just act on impulse. I guess that's why he is the team leader.

Like I said; Pisses. Me. Off.

So they can take all that 'save the world' shit and use it on someone who believes it. Someone who hasn't been around long enough to see how screwed up humanity is.

They'll learn. Or they won't and they'll die. I don't care either way.

As long as I survive, I may as well go along with this mission.

I'm not fighting for this world. I'm not fighting _for_ anyone or anything.

I'm fighting because that's what I was _made_ for.

My name is Maria Alice Soares.

I'm a renegade, a psychopath and a first-class bitch.

But I'm using it in the best way possible.

What the fuck have you done lately?

**A/N: Please review and give me feedback!**


	8. Gage

I'm a fighter and a killing machine.

If you're looking for bigger words to describe me, ask someone else. I'm not here to write speeches. I'm here to do what I was created to do- _meant _to do. And that's be the strongest warrior on the battlefield.

This battle is about more than just being a strong defender of your own country. Enemies don't care about what flag you wear, what group you originate from, what wars you've won. They'll come for you, looking to slaughter you where you stand.

When that happens, you either roll over like a coward and die- or you fight.

When your back is pressed up against a wall and you find yourself surrounded by enemies everywhere, you take out your biggest gun and you blow them away.

That's _my_ job. That's why I'm on this mission.

That's why I'm joining Gibbs.

He's a true warrior who's worthy of being called a leader. He acts on his natural instincts. He trusts himself to make the right decision every time. He doesn't allow himself to be intimidated by anything or anyone.

I like that.

Gibbs can have his role as leader of this team. He's earned it.

Me? I'm here to _kill_.

Gibbs is my commander- he has no match. It's him and him alone that I'll listen to.

If he tells me to kill, I'm gonna kill.

If he tells me to shoot, I'm gonna shoot.

If he tells me to destroy something, I'm gonna destroy it.

If he tells me to stop, I'll stop.

Eventually.

Heh, heh, heh.

If my enemies aren't gonna stop, I'm not going to either.

I'm not weak, I'm not stupid. I'm as pure a soldier as ever existed. If they don't know it now, they will soon.

My name is Gage.

And I'm joining Agent Gibbs.

Not because I love Americans.

But because I _love to fight_.

**A/N: Please review and give me feedback!**

**Vote for your favourite OC in 'Even If This Costs Us Our Lives' in the poll on my profile! They'll be updated each time a new character is introduced!**


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